Thursday, February 9, 2012

How Do You Feel About Corporal Punishment In           Schools?

This is a serious issue now a days with a lot of parents. I just wanted to discuss this an put my thoughts out there on this subject. Do I believe in it? Yes, but to a certain point. See I don't allow them to paddle my kids when they are in Elementary school. I will take care of the problem from home instead. Now that my oldest is in Middle School, I sign the paper allowing them to paddle my child, but only after I have been contacted and have been told why they want to paddle my child. If I feel the reason is not paddle worthy then I will tell them no and take care of the situation when my child gets home. Okay with that said, most people say, "well they paddled my child without my knowledge." Here is what I do.. On the paper that we sign I write a note on that same paper stating; "My Child is not to be paddled with out my knowledge of it or the reason why. I must receive a phone call before paddling occurs." Then make a copy of it. This way if my child comes home saying she was paddled and I never received that phone call. I will grab my copy and head to the school and ask why they didn't follow my conditions of the paddling. They expect us to make sure our kids know and follow all these rules in the handbook, and we do our best to stick with it. So I expect them to do the same for me upon this one request. So back to being in the office with my question; If this ever happens again then I will take legal action against the school. Al tho I have not had any problems with this so far. I have told my oldest daughter that I have in fact signed the paper and she could get paddled at school if she isn't behaving. So she tends to make sure that she stays out of trouble. 

Now with all that being said, here is why I make that decision. Today the world looks at spanking as wrong. It all depends on how its done I guess. Let me just say I received my fair share of spankings and I turned out fine. I still love my parents and in fact I'm closer to them then most other families who didn't spank their kids. And let me tell ya, I got some of the old fashion butt whoop-ins. Younger generations parents have let all the Doctors with these " How to Raise your Child" books take over their own natural parenting skills. I don't believe in any of these books. Most of them are written by people who don't have any kids or didn't have any at the time they wrote them. I don't need someone else to tell me how to raise my child. I will figure it out on my own, that's the challenge of it all and I intend to win the challenge. Now getting advice from our parents and parents who have had to overcome certain stages in life with their kids, well I encourage that. You can take the advice and mold it to fit what works best with you and your child. The good Lord gives us the knowledge we need to raise our kids. Yes there is gonna be times we feel like we have done everything and at wits end. Just hang in there, kids are always gonna try and test us to see if were gonna cave. Some kids are more strong willed than others as I have found out here recently with my oldest. 

 Now I'm not gonna tell you how to raise your kids. And I'm not gonna tell you to spank or not to spank. Fact is spankings work on most and then there are some kids it doesn't even phase them. You gotta do what  actually works best. Believe in yourself as a parent and stick to what you say. That was my biggest down fall with my oldest. I would say one thing then she would manage to change my mind for me. Not anymore, I took back the reigns on that one. 
Another thing I wanted to bring up, I was watching one of those morning shows one day about 4 or 5 years ago.Of course the topic was about spanking kids. One of the ladies said spanking your kids promotes violence, so that is why she never spanked her son. Yet her son was not on the show due to the fact that he was in Juvenal Hall because he punched her in the face. Sounds real silly doesn't it. Not spanking your kids because it promotes violence, all tho her son was beating the crap out of her. Now a days there are four year old kids beating on their mothers and even grandmothers. I could not believe the story I heard about this four year old a few years back. He slapped his grandmother around and then proceeded to pee on her while she was down. The mother didn't do a thing. This little boy was not punished in any way for his actions. You can guarantee if that had been my kid, they would still be feeling the sting on their bottom today for it. But that's just me I guess.

Back to the school issues now. Because of the way parents think now a days is part or most of the problem in schools now. Yes, I'm blaming the parents. When we take the authority out of the teacher's hands then kids have no reason to respect them. Teachers get into trouble just for giving the kids a stern look now a days. I mean really. Imagine yourself in the teachers position. All the kids especially teenagers, they are not sitting down, or paying attention to you. You raise your voice a little to get there attention and say "Sit in your seats and settled down." Then one of the students tells you, "You Sit down and shut the F*** up!" What are you gonna do in that situation? Be honest with yourself here. You could say, send them to the principals office. But if they have no respect for the teacher, then what makes you think they will have any more respect for the principal? Parents will talk about how, "they ain't spanking my kids or I will come up there and beat the crap out of them" and so on and so forth. But it's done in front of the kids, so in their minds they have come to the fact that they can get away with being disrespectful to authority figures. Lets face it, it only leads to them eventually not respecting their own parents. Teachers are becoming afraid to teach the higher grades due to all the violence in schools now. They try to give kids an education but at the same time try to keep them in line and they get lashed out at. It's not right. We as parents need to teach our kids about respect for all adults and authority figures. Even if that adult, teacher, authority figure is wrong. I know that sounds dumb, but here is the reason why. Sometimes adults are wrong and need to realize it, but it should not be the kids doing that job. It is the parents responsibility to defend their children when needed, but not with our kids watching or hearing the conversation between the two adults. I have realized when I get on a temper tantrum about a certain situation, well my oldest thinks its okay for her to do the same, and its not. Truth is our kids mimic us, so we gotta be careful how we handle situations in front of our kids. If our kids have respect for authority figures, then there shouldn't really be a problem at school, and that cuts out most of the paddling in school. We as parents need to take back the authority and demand respect from our kids and that they respect other adults/authority figures. At the same time letting our kids know that we are going to protect them and correct any situation that isn't right. But we the Parents will do that, and the kids not need to take it into their own hands. I tell my kids all the time, "If you have a problem with someone else and they are doing something wrong, come tell me and I will deal with it."  Its a working progress, but at least it is progress. So take what you will from all this, I have put in my thoughts and opinions. Feel free to put your own thoughts in the comment block. I know some won't agree with me, so please keep it clean or at least use the *** symbols.  I respect your opinions. I may not agree with them, but never the less I will respect them. Thanks for reading have a wonderful day :)      

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Parenting a Pre-Teen

I have a pre-teen and love her more than life itself. I have always been very open and honest  with her and let her know that I'm always here to talk to no matter the subject or situation. I've let her know that she can be completely honest with me and I would do my best to help her and guide her as best I can. And without jumping to conclusions or blowing up at what I might hear come out of her mouth. When she was younger she told me everything in great detail and never hid anything from me. Now I have come to find out that a lot has been hidden from me and there have been several lies. I was so upset that all I could do was ground her. I couldn't say or do anything else for the fear of saying something I might regret later. I'm kind of at a loss here and don't understand why she felt the need to lie to me and hide things from me. I know there are outside influences and certain fears she may have, but I'm still in shock from all this. I just wonder when the moment was when she decided that she couldn't talk to me or come to me with any situation. So we have decided as of right now we are just gonna try and sit down with her and have a good long talk. Hopefully she will open up and talk and tell us how she is feeling and be honest with us. I just pray I can handle life as she gets older and becomes a teenager. Feel free to leave any advice from experienced parents out there. Thanks in advance. And if your kinda going through the same thing, feel free to vent here. I will be updating on our situation later. Have a great day everyone. :)





UPDATE!!!!
So I told everyone I would update so here it is:
After about 5 Days of being grounded from everything, she finally caved and we talked everything out. She now has an understanding of why its so important to be honest with me and never hide things from me. She gave an honest apology and I was happy to hear it. I'm just so happy to be past all this. I stuck to my guns and didn't cave in like I usually do and it was worth it. Altho she doesn't have the same freedom she had before, she is slowly but surely gaining it back. And computer time has been reduced to an hour, and that's only if she has all her homework and chores done. So not ready for my youngest daughter to grow up either. It would be nice if we could keep them young forever. HA! Well thanks to those who gave advice, and supported me through this situation. Everyone have an awesome day!

Monday, January 23, 2012

Confidence!!!






Well I finally got a boost of 

Confidence, thanks to my 

mom and her findings. I am 

gonna re open my cake 

business and have another go 

at it. So I will be juggling 3 

things and pages at once but 

maybe it will be good for me 

to stay busy. Ha! we shall see. What have you gotten excited 

about here lately or regained your confidence with?

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Just a little bit about me....

  • Just wanted to share something about myself......

    Have you ever asked yourself, "What am I supposed to be doing with my life?" I know I do on a daily basis. I have tried building my own business with making cakes, and they aren't bad for someone who never took baking classes. I even put up a page on facebook and got a few hits here and there. I noticed not too long after that, everyone else had ...
    a page popping up, I took a look and thought, "wow these are some great looking cakes." Then I got discouraged, and decided to put it on the back burner. These ladies obvisouly had experience, and their cakes looked better than mine. The more I tried the more discouraged I got and finally just gave up. I am a Scentsy consultant as of now, and it gets discouraging because there are so many ladies selling it where I live. I'm still going with it though and hanging on. There have been many things I have tried, and have quit. Only because it seemed too hard or there was always someone else better at it than me. Its a battle I'm facing and hoping I can overcome it. I'm a proud wife of a Crew Chief in the Air Force and a blessed mother of two wonderful girls. A woman of Christian Faith, and a someone who considers a great party just coming together with family and friends. I do have other battles to face in this life but those will be for another time in another story. I do know, that no matter what God has in this life for me, I am happy trying to figure it out as long as I have His love and my family's love and support. I'm not saying everyday will be great, but I have a support line. Do you have this same issue? If so how do you deal with it? Advice is always welcome, I'm just wondering how many of us are out there and what everyone else's story is.
    -T Coolz